After my first year of teaching, I am changing courses..again.
The typical trajectory is that after we graduate high school, we go to college. We select a major, graduate, and find a career relating to our major. We stay in that career and grow within it.
Do you know how many times I’ve changed my major? Seven times.
Do you know what my ex-husband told me? It’s frustrating that you never finish what you start.
And he was right. I mean, who changes their major SEVEN TIMES?
I felt like a failure. Like I can never accomplish anything. That maybe I’m not “college fit.”
May 2021, I graduated Summa Cum Laude in Elementary Education with a CLD Endorsement as a single mom in the middle of a pandemic. That following fall, I was given the opportunity to teach third grade.
I was more than ecstatic.
But as the year is coming to a close, I already know that I do not ever want to set foot back inside a classroom again. One student shattered my high hopes of teaching for what I hoped would be years with stories of laughter, sadness, and the hard times to share one day.
So now what? Honestly, I don’t know.
And it’s okay. I feel lost. I just turned 33 on April 18th. I feel like most people who are my age have their ducks in a row and settled into life. I’m still scrambling to figure out what I should do and struggling to make ends meet.
But I’m okay with this. It’s stressful and it’s hard but I’m okay. I’m diving into my interest of *possibly* becoming a certified trainer (I have just recently become certified and already second guessing myself!).
What I do know for certain is, as much as my writing has been inconsistent, my joy for writing never died. Stifled, but never surrendered.
Perhaps this is what I will pursue. Perhaps… given the space and time to sit and explore my muses, thoughts, and creativity, I would be able to actually write.
What I’m trying to say is..if you’re still figuring things out, you are okay. You’re not alone. You are allowed to change careers. It’s okay to try this and that. It’s okay to allow yourself to explore.
Life is too short to settle into something you’re not satisfied with. Do something that will bring you both joy and financial security.
It is possible to have both. And it is okay to explore your options until you find it.