Positivity is not the Antidote to Negativity

I dont like driving for Lyft because I hate risking getting into an accident… but most of the time, I meet some pretty amazing people.

Like for example, I had a conversation with a 70 year old woman. And I told her she didn’t look 70 at all and she asked how old I was.

After telling her I was 30, she responded (as so many others have) that her 30s and 40s were here best years.
I told her that so far, mine hasn’t been so great.

She asked why and I told her (going back to school, hours having to be cut, doing odd jobs [lyft/babysitting] to make ends meet, trying to get a house, take care of my kids and set my 5th grader up for middle school, etc.)

And she said, “Well no wonder you’re not having a good year! You are in a season of transition! No one else in your shoes would be too happy either. Transitions are challenging. But it only last about 5 years or less. And then you have about 5 years of comfortable years before you enter another big change. I call it the decade theory.

You go through five years of changing, adjusting, learning, growing and then five years of having it figured out and enjoying it.

Trust me.
After it’s over, you’re going to enjoy so much of your life, especially because you seem to be on the right path. You don’t have to enjoy what you’re going through right now but don’t be so hard on yourself during this process. And realize that so many good things are about to happen soon to you and your girls.”

She just helped me feel HUMAN… rather than a single mom trying to fix her broken life.. which is my own perception.

Sometimes you just gotta step outside your situation and give yourself some grace.

When she said, “You don’t have to enjoy what you’re going through right now,”.. like dang.

I’m all for a positive mindset but I feel like we live in an era where it’s so forced that feeling any other way means you’re “less than” and choosing to be miserable.
That you aren’t doing something right or you’re not trying hard enough to see the silver lining.

But that’s not the case at all.

We’re humans. And negative emotions are just as valid as the positive ones.

Forcing yourself to never feel negatively could hurt you because you might end up neglecting coping through it.

Positivity isn’t the antidote to negativity.
Acknowledging it, expressing it, and coping through it is.

Gawsh. I just feel SO much more at peace because of this woman.

Like thank you for validating my need to feel crummy, exhausted, and hating life a little right now.

Because soon, I’m going to love my life very much after this season of transition is over.

And sure, there can be bits and pieces to enjoy right now. But if I’m feeling anything but happy, peppy, or hopeful.. then dagnabit I get to.

#lifelesson #positivityisnottheantidotetonegativity

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